First Date Safety

Be yourself but also know where you’re going (don’t wear a t-shirt to a nice restaurant or heels to go hiking). When you’re planning a first date, don’t go somewhere too fancy or too loud. You want to hear and experience the other person. The point of a first date is to see how well you connect with each other—not how much you spend on dinner or how good you read lips over drum solos. Always get his phone number, this way you can call him when you’re ready.

I’m here to share my hottest first date safety tips, all designed to keep you safe, happy, and dating the right ways. You’d meet a potential suitor by happenstance (or be introduced by a friend), then exchange numbers and talk on the phone. If the call went well, you’d make plans to go out. And if that meetup was successful, you’d plan another date. The best practice is to plan on being 15 minutes early to your date. That way if something happens like traffic or car trouble on your way there, you aren’t going to be late.

Instead of judging their answers, appreciate this person’s individuality. The more you appreciate your date’s unique taste, the better. ” “I love your sweater/shoes/hat.” People love to be noticed for things they care about. But giving too many compliments throughout the date can be overwhelming and off-putting. So, if you’re worried about coming on too strong, compliment your date on something other than their appearance—like their laugh, sense of humor, intelligence or great taste in music. Everyone appreciates thoughtful compliments if they’re given the right way.

Just like every other category of your budget, you want to be disciplined about sticking within your boundaries. If your date gives you grief for sticking to your budget, that’s their hang-up, not yours. But it doesn’t matter how things change in the dating or technology world.

There are plenty of precautions you can take before you even meet up for the first time. No need to disguise yourself entirely (It’s kind of necessary for the other person to know what you look like). But maybe wait until you’ve been a few dates before adding them on Facebook or letting them know your apartment number. Prioritizing safe transportation is crucial when preparing for a first-date. Opting for personal transportation, such as your vehicle or a reputable taxi service, enhances your control over the situation. By relying on your own means or a trusted transportation service, you retain independence and foster a sense of security.

You can’t really just sit at the restaurant for hours, so you need to have a plan of somewhere to transition. A transition plan on a first date is probably something you’ve never heard of before. It might sound like a backup plan, but it’s actually quite different.

Don’t give out private information about yourself. It’s smart to keep a few details to yourself on a first meeting. Don’t share things like your home or office address right off the bat.

• You can’t really just sit at the restaurant for hours, so you need to have a plan of somewhere to transition.
• We’re not asking for a lot here, but we are asking that you do some basic things to make sure you look like someone worth going out with.
• (You won’t.) You’re not weak, and you’re not crazy for having a heart that wants to love and be loved.

So go forth with these tips in mind, and let the journey of dating be both fun and secure. You don’t have to have an entire second first date set up, but you should at least have an idea of some other things you could do in the same area. For example, if you’re going for coffee, at least know about another coffee shop or restaurant that serves coffee in the area. Have a plan about where you are going, when you are going, and any other details that need to be covered to make for a great date. If you’ve read any of our other articles, you know that we say first dates are not about impressing the other person, but they’re about finding out if there is compatibility. That being said, you should still do your job of adequately planning the date if you’re the one making the plans.

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Offer to have a FaceTime or phone call date prior to the IRL date. If they hesitate, it’s a good sign that it may not be right for you. Let them know when and where, and that you’ll contact them within a certain amount of time. It’s best not to divulge your address just yet, or agree to a ‘Netflix and Chill’ hangout at their place. It’s just too risky, so save the home dates until you know your date much better. If you google your date and find some questionable info or just get a bad feeling, follow your gut and cancel ASAP.

Don’t agree to meeting them at their house before you get to know or trust the person. “Focus on assessing the person’s energy, hobbies, and general outlook on life,” Skorik said. “Most people aren’t comfortable, or obligated, to share information about their family life, finances, ex-lovers, or personal back story with a stranger.”

If this man says or does anything that makes you think twice, definitely keep track of this. Enough red flags should definitely sway your decision on whether or not to go on the date. Before ever agreeing to go out on a date with a man, make sure that you talk to him on the phone first. We’ve all heard the stories of people being catfished and men using fake pictures.

Don’t dismiss feelings of unease or discomfort, even if you can’t logically explain them. Before you go on a first date, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe! Relationship and dating expert Kelly Marie joined us to share her first-date safety checklist. Our aim is to provide accurate, safe and expert verified information through our articles and social media handles. The remedies, advice and tips mentioned here are for general information only.

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“On a first date, you should never have anyone pick you up at home,” she says. It’s smart to keep your home address—and other personal info like your office address, and whether or not you live alone—private on a first date. Before committing to an in-person meeting, suggest a brief phone call or video chat.

If you want to remain alert, it’s definitely not a good idea to go crazy with the cocktails or sink the pints. You need your contacts to be easily accessible; you might need to book an Uber, or you might need to use Google. Never arrange for your date to pick you up for your date.

Understanding love bombing can also help determine a safe person from an unsafe one. Signs of disrespect may help inform you about how safe or kind the person you are dating is, says O’Brien. Mourikis says when arriving at a location to meet, it’s a good idea to look around and see who might be able to support you if something were to go badly.

If the date is going well, you can tell your safety person that everything is fine. So, yeah, that’s why I don’t recommend getting sozzled on your first date with a complete stranger… who could actually murder you if they wanted to. Absolutely blind drunk, making the most dangerous decisions without a care in the world. He also told officers he wanted to “know what it feels like to kill a person”. So it is no surprise that with so many strangers meeting strangers, the possibility of danger has increased exponentially. It’s wise to stay sober during a first date to keep your wits about you.

Even if you don’t have the prettiest teeth in the world, you can at least make sure they are as clean as they can be and that your breath is not kicking. Additionally, if you drink coffee or eat food on your date, your breath could take a turn for the worse. No, they don’t have to be manicured and styled, but if they look like a dog chewed them all off, are freakishly overgrown, or are dirty, you’re going to put off the wrong impression. Take two minutes LaDate before your first date and clip your fingernails. If you’re wearing flip flops or open toed shoes, this goes for your toenails too.

Being on time shows respect and that you value your date’s time. Showing up late sets a bad tone for the date from the second you show up. If you don’t want to be “playing from behind” then you need to be there on time. If you’re going somewhere on your first date that you’ve never been before, you’re going to want to scout out the location beforehand if you can.

Check In With A Friend Or Family Member

Remember to always, always trust your instincts and act accordingly. If you feel more comfortable having an “out” in case the date goes awry, tell your date that you to leave to meet your friends afterwards. As a dating coach and matchmaker, my top priority is to empower you to find a deep connection.

I think I pushed him away from me at least once, and I think I ran out of his front door shoeless. I have no idea how I got home, or how long I was wandering the streets in the wrong direction for. You don’t need to stay anywhere, you don’t feel comfortable. Put a premium on privacy “You really want to be guarded with your personal information,” says Amy Nofziger, director of fraud victim support at AARP. Don’t disclose your work or home address, your Social Security number, your credit card number or any details about your banking accounts, warns dating service Match.

No notes, no texts to explain why, no mention of who they were from… just random chocolate bars on my doormat every few days. If something, anything feels weird, odd, off, or something unpleasant, for any reason, just go home. Call a friend or loved one, book yourself a cab, or run. Always meet someone for the first time in a public place, preferably with people around.

You could even share your location with them so they can check in and see where you are if they haven’t heard from you by a certain time. Red flags can be as subtle as interrupting you one too many times during your conversation. They can look like showing up late or being rude to the coffee shop wait staff. Or red flags can be as big as violating your physical or emotional boundaries. No matter what, make sure you’re doing everything you can to keep yourself safe. Please do not put up with anything that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

She says even how they treat the waitstaff, if you’re meeting at a restaurant, can be a good gauge. “We can create a little bit more safety by being able to trust ourselves. She says it’s OK to end communication with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. “A black or brown person might experience racism or microaggressions on the app.” Mourikis says certain communities will be more at risk online, for example people of colour and people with disability.

And most importantly, take as many precautions as you need to feel safe. This will reduce any anxieties, especially if your fear of first dates is down to meeting a stranger. I’m speaking from uncomfortable personal experience when I tell you that some people want you to give them sex in exchange for the meal/drinks/whatever, they’ve paid for.

This doesn’t mean that you have to go have drinks at the bar or get coffee from the coffee shop, but at least drive by and peek in the window. This is also the time to be honest if you weren’t feeling it. No—it’s never comfortable admitting you don’t see this moving forward (lighting your eyebrows on fire might sound better than breaking it off), but it’s respectful to be honest. Always kindly and clearly communicate the truth, even if you do it in writing. On the other hand, if you feel like there’s potential, keep moving forward one date at a time.

With the rise of online dating, you may find yourself meeting up with someone who was, until recently, a stranger. The following precautions can help ensure that your first date is not only enjoyable but also secure. It’s no secret that everyone wants to look their best on a first date. For those using online dating or on a blind date, this is going to be the first time you see this person in person.

Excessive alcohol consumption can significantly compromise your judgment and perceptiveness, potentially hindering your ability to stay vigilant and aware of your surroundings. By keeping your alcohol intake in check, you retain control over your faculties, allowing you to prioritize your safety and ensure that you’re fully present and alert throughout the date. No matter how awesome your date is going, there’s always the unfortunate chance that something could go awry. Never leave your items unattended and always make sure you watch drinks being poured for you from the bartender. Text a friend a code word if you ever feel unsafe. Once you’ve established your online safety boundaries, it’s time to consider your physical safety in preparation for the first date.

Maybe you should shove a twenty in that space in your bra designed for padding… or in your socks. Make sure your cellphone battery is fully charged, experts say, in case you need to call someone for assistance. And always provide your own transportation to and from the date; don’t get into someone else’s car.

We don’t want to believe that someone we’re on a date with will slip us any drugs, but it does happen. It may sound a little overboard, but if no one knows you’re out, they won’t know they should be worried if something should go wrong. If James Franco’s character had just let someone know he was going out hiking, they would have known to look for him a whole lot sooner. Be wary of anyone who pressures you into meeting in person too soon, too quickly, as well as people who avoid meeting in person altogether. Beyond the practical steps, your mindset and ability to assert boundaries are foundational to safety.